Hanging you up now!!!!

I waited for this moment for sometime now.  I visited as much as possible but sometimes would get caught up with everyday life, wedding planning, work, etc.  I would only see here once a week sometimes ever other week.  Which to me was not enough.  I wanted her to know I was there for her no matter what!

So they day came when I was speaking with my father over the phone.  I typically could hear her in the background making noises, singing or talking.  I would ask "See if Hannah wants to talk to me?"  "Do you want to talk to Sissy?" "NO" was her reply.  Somewhat hurt, I reluctantly replied "Okay, I'll talk to her later".  Deep down knowing that one day, one day she would be able to connect with me on a daily basis via the strange little box people talk into and press buttons.  I still realized that a cell phone or a phone in general was something she didn't quit understand the concept of.  But one marvelous day she would discover her womanly duty to chat on the phone.  I waited patiently.

So a few weeks ago, I again was chatting with my father on his home phone.  Yes, someone still has a home phone.  In midst of conversation, I hear the sweeet little voice of Hannah.  "Who you talking too?"  At last, she realizes someone is on the other end of that little white box that people talk into.  "Hold on, someone wants to talk to you?" Could it be? Is this the brink of daily interaction with Toots?

"SSSSSSIIIIISSSSYYYYY!!!!!!!!"  To which I reply, "What's up Toots?"  "Nuffin, K, Hanging you up now!"  What?  The conversation has just begun.  I couldn't believe this.  I waited this long for hanging you up now?  Wait, I still hear something.  "Sissy?"  "Yes?"  "what are you dogs doing?"  Ha!  One step at a time.  She doesn't quit get the concept of when you say Good Bye you hang up.  I will teach her this another day.  So we finished our conversation which ended abruptly again with hanging you up now and my father getting back on the phone to say good bye.  I knew I had to teach her how to talk on the phone this is my sisterly duty to do so.  If I wanted her and I to be able to have hour long conversations one day I would have to get her started early and this may take some time.  There is a lot to learn.

Lesson 1: When you say "Hanging you up now" you are ending the conversation.  Don't speak anymore just say good bye and hang up the phone.  So the plan.  When she says "Hanging you up now" I am just going to hang up the phone.  It will be tough to hang up on that sweat little voice but I know this is the best way for her to learn.


The next day.....

5:05-Incoming call....Dad cell.  This is it, do or die, you will thank me later, Toots!  "Helllllloooo Sissy!" Hey Toots.  "What are your dogs doing?"  The typical conversation starter.  Why is she so obsessed with my damn dogs?  "They are watching, TV"  "Dogs can't watch TV, Sissy!"  Well, Hello Miss Know It All!  You don't understand the concept of hanging up the phone but you know that dogs can't actually watch TV? Whatever.  "What are you doing?" "Sitting on my porch"  "Do you have your shoes on?"  "Nope!"  "Sissy, you should put your shoes on if you are outside."  Dogs don't watch TV and you must wear your shoes while outside.  Thanks Toots!  Things, my 28 year old self, wasn't already aware of.  "Sissy, you there?"  "Yup, still here"  "K, Hanging you up now!"  Yes, it was time.  Ready... END CALL!  I did it!  I started soaking up the feeling I was having of teaching her an important lesson when......

RRRRIIIIINNNNGGG....the old phone rings, Dad Cell on the screen.  What? Dad Cell?  Maybe he had to say something else or ask me something.  "Hello"  "Sissy!"  said her distraught little voice.  "YOU HANG UP ON ME, I WAS STILL TALKING TO YOU, SO I CALL YOU BACK TO HANG YOU UP......" CLICK!  Like the click of a unloaded gun.  Click...silence.  I was in awe.  What the hell just happened?  I just got hung up on, intentionally, by a 4 year old.  Hung up on?  No one hangs up on me!  I just taught you a important lesson and you call me to intentionally hang up on me?  WTF?

I call back!  "Dad, you just hear what Hannah did?" Dad hysterically laughing.  "What are you laughing at? She just hung up on me?"  "I know, I know, I heard her back there"  "I just wanted to teach her when you say Good Bye that you hang up the phone and she intentionally called me back to hang up on me!" "Bye"

How did this happen?  What is going on here?  She knew exactly what she was doing.  Which leads me to Reason  #273.  Yes I am already up to #273 of reasons I am not quit ready to pro-create, yet.  Mostly, these are just reason's I discovered through my friends and step mothers stories of birthing or co-workers stories of child birth.  You know, delivering a baby or what I like to call "Complete Uterine War Fare".

Reason #273 At four years old, little girls understand the concept of revenge!  Hanging up on someone in order to get back at them.  An eye for an eye if you will. 

She has had play phones for the past 3 1/2 years.  She has heard and seen everyone talking on the phone.  In real life and in movies.  Mind you, one of her favorite movies is The Goonies!  She likes to watch "real movies" as she calls them not cartoon kid movies! She knew what "hanging you up now" meant this whole time.

So thank you Toots for reason #273, connecting with me on a daily basis, and just being you!

Loves
Sissy

Be careful what you wish for!

I always said I wanted to marry someone with a short/easy last name like Jones or Smith.  A little wish I hoped one day would come true.  Short, simple and easy.  To be able to write my name on a form within the line provided.  I almost could imagine the day.  Being my maiden name was Stinebaugh this was something I imagined often.  Stinebaugh which was, almost always, misspelled or pronounced incorrectly.  When typing in word or email my name always came up as a spelling error with suggestions like Stinkbug.  Awesome!  A last name that most often became many un-wanted nicknames.  Which we will not diclose.  Not a big deal though.  My last name was mine for 28 years now.  It was mine and who I was.  Christina Stinebaugh...Chrissy Stinebusy.  

While enjoying a cold beverage on my deck, a white truck pulled in the driveway.  I see a little face and hand waving with excitement.  It was Hannah's first visit to the new place.  Being I live just down the street now, things got easier in the visitation department.  I could see Hannah pretty much whenever being I was so close.  So after dance class, my father, stopped by for a chat.  "Sissy I want some thing to drink"  Sure no problem.  We got cool new monogrammed tumblers, Thanks T, for our wedding shower!  I poured some lemonade, as this was her new drink of choice, and handed her the "G" tumbler.  Back to the porch to chat with the Pop's. 

"Sissy?"
"Yes Toots!"
"What is the G for on the cup?"
"Sissy's last name"
"Well, what is your last name?"

I knew this wasn't going to be good.  I could only imagine what she would say once I told her. 

"Gross, Sissy's last name is Gross"  I anxiously replied.

A slight pause with smoke practically spewing from her ears as her little mind was working a mile a minute! My fathers face got this look.  As if he knew what was coming next.  I starred for a moment, in anticipation, for the unknown words of wisdom about to come from her mouth.   I could see the grin on Hubs and Dads faces as we all starred at Hannah awaiting her reply.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? GROSS. YOUR LAST NAME IS GROSS.  SISSY GROSS?!!!!!????!!!??!?!?!"

That is definitely not the reply I was expecting.  Dad's face turned a shade of candy apple red and Josh smirked as he continued his conversation on the phone. 

"SISSY GRRR-RROSS!" still in shock.  I am not sure if it was the shock that was funny or the overly theatrical way she said the word gross.  Over emphasis on the G with a french like tongue roll of the R.  GGRRRROSS.

I laughed and brushed it off.  Slightly embarrassed but amused at Miss. Sassy pants remark.

"Yes, Sissy's last name is Gross"

Toots....Kid!

H: "Hey Toots" 

C:"Hey Kid" 

H:"I not a kid your a kid!"

C:"K, Hey Toots!"

H:"Hey Kid!"

And so it began.  The nicknames we would use for the rest of our life.  "Toots and Kid"  I like it.  Like a movie title or a best selling novel.  Toots and Kid.  Like a great duo, team or comic book characters.  Batman and Robin-Gotham Cities protectors against criminals and evil doers.  Thelma and Louise-Two women who escape from their troubled lifes only to discover the true meaning of life.  

Toots and Kid....The 31 year old newly wed and the 4 year old going on 32 years old. 

Now that sounds.....not so interesting.  Toots and Kid?  Seriously?  We couldn't have come up with something a little more dynamic or witty?  I guess that will have to do for now!